Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton



10
Mar
08

Dream Ticket

Clinton’s been talking about a Dream Ticket with her as president and Obama as Vice-President.  Well, Obama will have no such thing.  Do you think he let’s Michelle ever go on top?  We always had him pinned as a conservative missionary position type of guy.

2007_12_21t010459_450x303_us_usa_politics_new_hampshire.jpg
09
Mar
08

Obama is a Republican’s wet dream!

Obama has garnered the Wyoming delegates. Interestingly, Wyoming, the least populous state is also a Republican hot bed. They haven’t voted for a Democrat president in over 40 years. George Bush also had his highest voter percentage in Wyoming when elected. It’s interesting to note then that such a conservative arena favours Barack Obama. Could it be conservative misogyny at work? Does Obama actually seem more Republican than Clinton? It’s not clear. However, perhaps Barack could retire to Yellowstone National Park if he doesn’t win the rest of the country.

obama_cake_boy.jpg
08
Mar
08

Sex in the White House

The recent battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination has fired up controversy on many levels. Voting is at an all time high and emotions, along with mud slinging, have been sinusoidal. What is becoming apparent, at least to some, is that perhaps sexism is one of the few allowable bigotries in society. Hillary Clinton has faced much more scrutiny than Obama during this entire process. This is has been linked to her being a woman. I say let’s drop all kinds of bigotry and for the run to the White House, let’s bring sexy back and make “Woman” the new “Black”!

r_sexinwhitehouse.jpg
08
Mar
08

Early Morning Crank Calls…

Here’s a very effective Hillary Clinton ad. Hey, at least if she gets in the White House phones won’t be unplugged so that GWB can get his geezer sleep.

08
Mar
08

The Democrats and Karma Sutra…

It’s amazing how the recent Democratic leadership race has turned the candidates against each other.  Just last summer they seemed quite chummy.  Now, they are using right wing mud slinging within their own party.  I say Barack and Hillary get on the same page for unity’s sake.  One big oiled liberal machine is a lot tougher to beat than a fragmented party.  To ease this process, I suggest Hillary and Barack experiment with some very intimate karma sutra techniques.

061128_clinton_obama_hmed5ph2.jpg
08
Mar
08

Clinton doesn’t wear briefs in Canada

According to Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Hillary Clinton’s campaign did not brief the PMO on any aspect of her stance on NAFTA. NAFTA-gate has hurt Barack Obama’s chances of winning the White House. Allegations of double-talking and political posturing have plagued Obama ever since, probably aiding in his loss of both Texas and Ohio primaries. I think Clinton and Obama should come on up to Canada in their briefs and go for a cold dip in the chilling waters of Lake Superior. Surely that would be warmer their relationship as of late.

2007_12_21t010459_450x303_us_usa_politics_new_hampshire.jpg
08
Mar
08

A Major Election Issue: tax returns

Barack’s camp has criticized Senator Clinton’s delay of releasing her tax returns until April 15. What a major issue for the country. If I release my tax returns can I become president? I don’t have any experience in health care, environmental or security policies though, is that ok?

irs.jpg
08
Mar
08

Hillary Clinton, embrace your inner monster

An adviser to the Obama campaign referred to Hillary Clinton as a monster. Now, usually I would say being a monster is not good. I also agree with the resignation of Samantha Power, the hot-headed red-head who made the comments. However, if I was running for office and my main competitors were referring to me as a monster, I am not sure that I would actually be all that offended. I would think that the other camp was feeling intimidated and inferior. Hillary, embrace your inner Monster!!!!

monster15.jpg
05
Mar
08

Hillary stomps on Obama’s balls in Ohio and Texas

Hillary Clinton has made up some ground, winning Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island.  Poor Rhode Island, nobody ever talks about them, but they did select Clinton as their candidate.  Maybe Rhode Island needs to sexy themselves up to attract some attention.  On a similar note, maybe Barack could clinch the nomination by taking his shirt off!

clinton-primaries.jpg
03
Mar
08

John McCain winks awkwardly at Hillary Clinton

In recent news, John McCain looks like he will win the Republican nomination, however, he is quite scared of Hillary Clinton. In fact, he was recently caught winking at her. In response, she kneed him in the balls.

mccain_on_the_sly.jpg
03
Mar
08

NAFTA rears its ugly head…

NAFTA has become an issue again, as documents given to Canadians are published by the Associated Press. The suggestions have been that Obama’s discussion of renegotiating NAFTA is political hot air and not to be taken seriously. As a result, Hillary Clinton soars in the polls in Ohio, just the day before the major primaries in that state and Texas. Perhaps Obama could gain ground by suggesting a negotiation of the constitution and the refund/exchange policies at Best Buy. Goddamn VCR!

nafta.jpg
02
Mar
08

The TV News Show with the Greatest Impact on the Presidential Race

It seems that with all the biased coverage in the media, the new trusted source for political news is Saturday Night Live.

clinton-snl.jpg
02
Mar
08

Hot, New Republican Candidate

The newest addition to our search for the hottest, sexiest conservative is Senator Robert McAllister. According to his official bio, McAllister “has spent nearly his entire life in public service.” I’m sure there’s a few people out there that would love to be serviced by the Senator personally. Here he is, pictured greeting some supporters on a campaign stop just before the Texas primaries.

mcallister.jpg
02
Mar
08

50 Cent Supports Barack

When asked who he’ll support in the current election, rapper 50 cent says he’d vote for Barack Obama because he’s black. He also stated that his favorite cereal is fruit loops.

50_cent_5.jpg

When asked to comment on 50 cent’s political statements, Ellen DeGeneres supported celebrity political statements, saying that she was supporting John McCain because he’s a lesbian.

02
Mar
08

Obama and McCain fashion and sex critique

As a woman, Hillary Clinton is getting the short end of the stick. Sexism is still the only allowed bigotry in our society. Misogynist news anchors can make sexist comments, but they don’t lose their jobs. Let’s face it, the sexist attitudes towards women in politics aren’t going to go away. Therefore, it’s a good idea to level the playing field by holding up male candidates to the same standards as women.

mccain.jpg

Is it me or is John McCain gaining weight? The challenges of the primaries certainly have him stressed, as can be seen by his growing waistline and weathered complexion. Somebody should send him the contact info of Wayne Newton’s plastic surgeon. Some botox would do him good too. Has this man even heard of a hair salon? He needs a touch up coloring like a Hippo needs deodorant. And why does he use his wife as a campaign magnet? Well, it’s obvious that she is much younger and has much more sex appeal, but do you really think you can trust a man that let’s his spouse do the campaigning? C’mon, he is using her popularity to gain votes and it says nothing about his credentials except that he is married to someone that has a lot of mass appeal and respect. He’s a fake and not very sexy.

obama.jpg

Now on to Obama. Geez, this outfit needs to go faster than you can say “Call the fashion police!” Obama not only lacks a sense of style, but he’s so boring with his fashion choices. The campaigning is also taking a toll on him as he has no time to eat and is slowly becoming emaciated with all the stress. It’s time for him and Michelle to take a long vacation. In fact, I heard of a great Florida retreat that doubles as marriage counseling. They should look into it. Recent news suggests that debate organizers are going easy on him because of the fear that he is more of a pretty face than a politician. He simply cannot answer the questions that are posed, could this be due to insecurity? The public is just not convinced that this election is personal for him.

01
Mar
08

With Democrats like this, McCain is looking hot

Desperate to win in the upcoming March 4 primaries, both leading Democrats, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton made commitments to renegotiate NAFTA if elected. This sounds pretty good to anti-NAFTA states like Ohio. But sources reveal that this all may be rhetoric. Obama staffers have communicated to Michael Wilson that these comments should probably be taken with a grain of salt. We don’t like salt.

titans.jpg
27
Feb
08

CNN makes false conclusions

artnavarettewapo1.jpg
Here’s an excerpt from “Clinton at risk of losing latino vote” by Ruben Navarette at CNN: “A recent Gallup survey found Obama in a slight, but not statistically significant, lead over Clinton among Latinos. Obama-mania has gone multicultural. And it’s about time.”
The scientific fallacy behind this statement is so blatantly obvious to us here at Right Wing Crazies. You CANNOT draw conclusions from statistically insignificant findings. It’s rule numero uno for any scientist. Why is CNN exhibiting bias? Are you surprised? We think Ruben is a closet Obama “fan” and he should leave the factual reporting to those most qualified. Shame on you CNN!
27
Feb
08

Hillaria Clintone: El Presidenta?

hillary.jpg
Apparently the new hot topic is that if Hillary Clinton loses the nomination to Barack Hussein Obama, it is because of the lack of latino votes! I say she crosses the border, not to the Taco Bell side but North, we’ll take her!
27
Feb
08

Holy Hussein

artcunninghamap.jpg
John McCain is distancing himself from a right wing crazy that made disparaging remarks about Barack Obama at a McCain rally. The crazy in question kept referring to Obama by his middle name, Hussein.
27
Feb
08

Flaherty points smelly finger

b0214125a.jpg
Jim Flaherty, the Canadian Finance Minister, is criticizing American Democratic candidates for suggesting they may consider pulling out of NAFTA. After smelling his finger, Obama and Clinton agree, the further the better.



Blog Tracking

  • 149,800 hits ever!!!!

Calendar

August 2021
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Recent Comments

möbius dick on Megyn Kelly is a pig
joaquim assumpção on Little known facts about the s…
Selmar on Megyn Kelly is a pig
JTaylor on White, Catholics and especiall…
Sam Damon on Megyn Kelly is a pig

a

Top Clicks

  • None

Disclaimer

Abstraction Reaction does not warrant or make any representations or claims as to the validity, correctness, currency, timeliness, completeness, or otherwise of the information provided at this site, nor shall it be liable or responsible for any claim or damage, direct or consequential, arising out of the interpretation, reliance upon or other use, authorized or unauthorized, of such information.