Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton

26
Mar
10

George Bush wipes his hand on Clinton’s Bajayjay!

Here’s a video showing George Bush wiping his hand off on Bill Clinton’s back after shaking hands with a Haitian.  Enjoy!

15
Mar
09

Hillary Clinton: Sexy Times in an Airplane!

Hillary Clinton sure knows how to rock the casbah!!! She’s been on a whirlwind of a trip that includes the Middle East and Europe.  I wonder if she eats the little nuts on the flights?  Likely, she has a private jet, right?  Maybe they serve her special nuts with special coatings that make them taste like scrumptralescence!!! In this economy, we thinks that she should fly coach.

12
Mar
09

Perez Hilton and Richard Simmons to Host Gay Military L.A. Bash!

Ok, we lied.  There’s no party.  But Faux News has a story running about Obama repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Basically, before Clinton, all gay people were banned from the military.  Bill Clinton thought that he could make some progress by changing the laws such that gays could be in the military as long as they don’t reveal their sexuality.  Well, this has turned out to be less than advantageous for both the military and gays.  What’s alarming in the article is this notion that lifting the Clinton-era policies (and hence allowing openly gay people to serve) would make the military a big fag-fest.  This is such bull shit. Do the old douche bags that took part in the military poll actually think that gays will flock to the military like they do to a Cher concert? This seems sooooo unlikely.  Just another example of right wing crazies and a conservative agenda at Faux News!

richard-simmons

10
Mar
09

Dick Cheney talks Bush, guns and sexy times!

Dick Cheney will be giving his first interview this weekend since leaving the puppetier, er, I mean, VP’s office.  Seriously, does Dick really think anybody wants to hear what he has to say, let alone NOW? Sure he can trash talk both Bush and Obama now that he has nothing to lose but his integrity.  What we’d like to hear are about all the sexy times he had in the White House.  He should write a tell-all book about his sexcapades in the VP office.  Oh wait, he shoots off pellet guns because he has no schlong.  My bad.photo-dick-cheney-stool

05
Mar
09

Obama girls get a big surprise!!! A pet pig instead of puppy :(

Ok. so the Obama-yardigans are not getting a pet pig instead of a puppy.  They aren’t get a pet just yet.  What they are getting is a new swing set.  Now, get your mind out of the gutter.  We are not speculating that the “Obama girl” of youtube fame is becoming a swinger.  Rather, the Obama kids are getting a play set to enjoy, within sight of the Oval office.  What’s interesting is all the negative comments on this story posted on CNN.  Right-wing crazies are out in full force!  Geez, they’re kids.pig-lipstick

26
Apr
08

White, Catholics and especially White Catholics Hate Obama…

It seems that there is a demographics problem with Obama’s campaign. Typical white people and typical Catholics seem to be Clinton supporters, at least that is the conclusion based on the Pennsylvania primary held this week. I think it’s time for a big old speech again from Barack. This time, he should work in something about how Jesus would vote for him and he should denounce and reject his Black heritage. That might help.

26
Apr
08

It’s oh so tight in Indiana!

It’s a very close race for Obama and Clinton in Indiana.  Not Indiana Jones silly, Indiana the state.  Apparently Harrison Ford thinks so highly of the Democratic Party that he thinks it’s a religion.

30
Mar
08

Hillary Clinton, a gay icon?

The recording artists throwing their chops behind Hillary Clinton include Madonna, Barbra Streisand, and Elton John. Can you say tranny? Barack Obama has the likes of Will.I.Am and John Legend behind him, both which will likely be referred to as “typical black men.” To show they have cross appeal, Clinton has Timbaland and Obama has The Grateful Dead and Arcade Fire. Who does McCain have? Check it out below.

30
Mar
08

A Politician That Addresses REAL Issues? WTF??!!??!

Hillary Clinton discusses health care with the NY Times.

http://video.on.nytimes.com/?fr_story=cffae502d4d639b8ec3d75e3a4ec3ff6ecff8d6c

clinton_hillary_s.jpg

30
Mar
08

Chelsea Clinton is hot in this video!

Reactions regarding Chelsea Clinton’s response to a question about her father’s infidelity has been overwhelmingly positive. Check her out below!

30
Mar
08

Sherri Shepherd switches camps and supports Hillary Clinton!

After her torrid affair with Barack Obama was exposed on air, Sherri Shepherd from “The View” has decided to back Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

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30
Mar
08

Clinton can run as long as she wants!

Barack Obama has extended an olive branch and has said that Hillary Clinton can run as long as she wants and her supporters should carry on as long as they can. This comes on the heels of other reports stating that Democrats think Clinton should fold. She is adamant to fight on. In other news, the other Clinton took Obama’s words too literally and started his morning jogs again.

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22
Mar
08

Hillary Leads in Poll of Pennsylvania Dutch Feminists

Hillary Clinton has more than doubled her lead over Barack Obama in a recent Pennsylvania poll.  It looks like the controversy over Obama and his pastor may have hurt his popularity.  The League of Pennsylvania Dutch Feminists is currently having a bake sale where proceeds will go towards the Clinton campaign.

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21
Mar
08

Hillary’s Little Girl Campaigns for Barack Obama

21
Mar
08

The Hillary Clinton Sex Interview!

21
Mar
08

Monica Lewinsky on “The Biggest Loser”?

The Monica Lewinsky scandal rears its ugly head again as a look-a-like gets booted from the weight loss show “The Biggest Loser.” It seems actually that Monica Lewinsky, although still over weight, is the biggest loser of the century because she did not profit from her sex scandal, like the hooker that slept with Spitzer, and Bill Clinton is trying to get back into the White House to bang more interns!
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Monica                                      Brittany
21
Mar
08

Way Back Playback!!!!!

As Hillary Clinton makes a race for the White House, lest us not forget that Canada has had a female Prime Minister.  Although unelected, Kim Campbell took over the hot mess left over by Brian Mulroney.  Her party then lost party status, she gained weight and Mulroney has been caught up in scandal after scandal ever since.

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14
Mar
08

Hillary Clinton Recites “I Have a Dream”

Geraldine Ferraro, a former New York congresswoman working on the Clinton campaign, suggests that Barack Obama is in his position because of his colour, and no other reason. Clinton “rejected” and “repudiated” the comments and has sent Ferraro to Oklahoma to attend sensitivity training with Sally Kern.

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14
Mar
08

Obama Denounces, Rejects, Refuses and Declines…

Does Hillary Clinton have it easier in this campaign than Barack Obama because she is white?  This crazy talk comes from a Chicago pastor supporting the Obama campaign.  Obama has denounced such crazy talk, but not before having very close associations with it.  This comes in a long string of people that Obama has had to distance himself from.  It makes us wonder the kind of people supporting him.  Case in point, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are hosting a scientology dinner for him in Boston.

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11
Mar
08

More evidence that Republicans are cheap bastards…

So McCain has won the nomination of his party.  The Earth is again flat and we didn’t evolve from a common ancestor as apes.  I get it. But Republicans are such cheap bastards.  Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have raised more money than John McCain.  As the Republican making a run for the White House, he is now left scrambling trying to raise some funds.  To put it in perspective, McCain has raised about 25% of the funds that either Clinton or Obama have raised.  McCain needs help, and fast.  I don’t even think his hot, sexy, younger wife can help him now.  However, it is not all lost.  Here are some suggestions for the Republicans to raise some dough:

1. Have a bake sale.

2. Sell chocolate bars that say “Vote for McCain”

3. Solicit campaign funds on perezhilton.com

4. Auction off McCain’s wigs.

5. Ask the Bushes for a loan from their rich oil friends.

We hope this helps McCain.  If you have trouble seeing the list, let us know and we’ll make the font bigger.

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