Posts Tagged ‘Democrats



30
Mar
08

Sherri Shepherd switches camps and supports Hillary Clinton!

After her torrid affair with Barack Obama was exposed on air, Sherri Shepherd from “The View” has decided to back Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

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14
Mar
08

Obama Finally Caught in Sex Scandal

Jennifer Garner is fuming after torrid photos of Ben Affleck and Barack Obama have surfaced. Their eyes being closed in a romantic embrace; it’s clearly love. The planned Obama rally in Boston, organized by Garner and Affleck, may be in jeopardy!

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14
Mar
08

Obama Denounces, Rejects, Refuses and Declines…

Does Hillary Clinton have it easier in this campaign than Barack Obama because she is white?  This crazy talk comes from a Chicago pastor supporting the Obama campaign.  Obama has denounced such crazy talk, but not before having very close associations with it.  This comes in a long string of people that Obama has had to distance himself from.  It makes us wonder the kind of people supporting him.  Case in point, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are hosting a scientology dinner for him in Boston.

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11
Mar
08

More evidence that Republicans are cheap bastards…

So McCain has won the nomination of his party.  The Earth is again flat and we didn’t evolve from a common ancestor as apes.  I get it. But Republicans are such cheap bastards.  Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have raised more money than John McCain.  As the Republican making a run for the White House, he is now left scrambling trying to raise some funds.  To put it in perspective, McCain has raised about 25% of the funds that either Clinton or Obama have raised.  McCain needs help, and fast.  I don’t even think his hot, sexy, younger wife can help him now.  However, it is not all lost.  Here are some suggestions for the Republicans to raise some dough:

1. Have a bake sale.

2. Sell chocolate bars that say “Vote for McCain”

3. Solicit campaign funds on perezhilton.com

4. Auction off McCain’s wigs.

5. Ask the Bushes for a loan from their rich oil friends.

We hope this helps McCain.  If you have trouble seeing the list, let us know and we’ll make the font bigger.

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09
Mar
08

Obama takes it off!

As we mentioned in an earlier post, Barack Obama may resort to nudity to get attention focused back on him. As predicted, Obama will now be going topless for the remainder of the campaign.

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08
Mar
08

Early Morning Crank Calls…

Here’s a very effective Hillary Clinton ad. Hey, at least if she gets in the White House phones won’t be unplugged so that GWB can get his geezer sleep.

08
Mar
08

Iggy could have been ours!!!!!!!!!!

Watching and blogging about the recent American Republican and Democratic primaries has made me realize that if the same process of leader selection was done in Canada, the political landscape would be quite different.  Stephane Dion would have never been the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada.  This has nothing to do with either his inability to do the job or his Quebec heritage.  It has to do with likability and popularity, plain and simple.  When he was selected, no one, except for those avidly active in politics, knew who he was.  Michael Ignatieff, on the other hand, was wildly popular, well known and respected.  Although as Canadians we often look down on American politics, this is certainly a superior situation where leaders are selected democratically and not by a small group of people that certainly don’t represent the average citizen.  Iggy could have been ours!!!!!!!!!!!!

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08
Mar
08

The Democrats and Karma Sutra…

It’s amazing how the recent Democratic leadership race has turned the candidates against each other.  Just last summer they seemed quite chummy.  Now, they are using right wing mud slinging within their own party.  I say Barack and Hillary get on the same page for unity’s sake.  One big oiled liberal machine is a lot tougher to beat than a fragmented party.  To ease this process, I suggest Hillary and Barack experiment with some very intimate karma sutra techniques.

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08
Mar
08

A Major Election Issue: tax returns

Barack’s camp has criticized Senator Clinton’s delay of releasing her tax returns until April 15. What a major issue for the country. If I release my tax returns can I become president? I don’t have any experience in health care, environmental or security policies though, is that ok?

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08
Mar
08

Dancing in the Streets!

A Republican congressman from Iowa has stated that if Barack Obama becomes president, that terrorists would be dancing in the streets. He thinks that having a “Hussein” as president would be viewed as a terrorist victory. His office even re-enacted what would happen if Obama won in the following video:

05
Mar
08

Hillary stomps on Obama’s balls in Ohio and Texas

Hillary Clinton has made up some ground, winning Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island.  Poor Rhode Island, nobody ever talks about them, but they did select Clinton as their candidate.  Maybe Rhode Island needs to sexy themselves up to attract some attention.  On a similar note, maybe Barack could clinch the nomination by taking his shirt off!

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03
Mar
08

John McCain winks awkwardly at Hillary Clinton

In recent news, John McCain looks like he will win the Republican nomination, however, he is quite scared of Hillary Clinton. In fact, he was recently caught winking at her. In response, she kneed him in the balls.

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02
Mar
08

The TV News Show with the Greatest Impact on the Presidential Race

It seems that with all the biased coverage in the media, the new trusted source for political news is Saturday Night Live.

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02
Mar
08

Hot, New Republican Candidate

The newest addition to our search for the hottest, sexiest conservative is Senator Robert McAllister. According to his official bio, McAllister “has spent nearly his entire life in public service.” I’m sure there’s a few people out there that would love to be serviced by the Senator personally. Here he is, pictured greeting some supporters on a campaign stop just before the Texas primaries.

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02
Mar
08

Obama and McCain fashion and sex critique

As a woman, Hillary Clinton is getting the short end of the stick. Sexism is still the only allowed bigotry in our society. Misogynist news anchors can make sexist comments, but they don’t lose their jobs. Let’s face it, the sexist attitudes towards women in politics aren’t going to go away. Therefore, it’s a good idea to level the playing field by holding up male candidates to the same standards as women.

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Is it me or is John McCain gaining weight? The challenges of the primaries certainly have him stressed, as can be seen by his growing waistline and weathered complexion. Somebody should send him the contact info of Wayne Newton’s plastic surgeon. Some botox would do him good too. Has this man even heard of a hair salon? He needs a touch up coloring like a Hippo needs deodorant. And why does he use his wife as a campaign magnet? Well, it’s obvious that she is much younger and has much more sex appeal, but do you really think you can trust a man that let’s his spouse do the campaigning? C’mon, he is using her popularity to gain votes and it says nothing about his credentials except that he is married to someone that has a lot of mass appeal and respect. He’s a fake and not very sexy.

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Now on to Obama. Geez, this outfit needs to go faster than you can say “Call the fashion police!” Obama not only lacks a sense of style, but he’s so boring with his fashion choices. The campaigning is also taking a toll on him as he has no time to eat and is slowly becoming emaciated with all the stress. It’s time for him and Michelle to take a long vacation. In fact, I heard of a great Florida retreat that doubles as marriage counseling. They should look into it. Recent news suggests that debate organizers are going easy on him because of the fear that he is more of a pretty face than a politician. He simply cannot answer the questions that are posed, could this be due to insecurity? The public is just not convinced that this election is personal for him.

01
Mar
08

With Democrats like this, McCain is looking hot

Desperate to win in the upcoming March 4 primaries, both leading Democrats, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton made commitments to renegotiate NAFTA if elected. This sounds pretty good to anti-NAFTA states like Ohio. But sources reveal that this all may be rhetoric. Obama staffers have communicated to Michael Wilson that these comments should probably be taken with a grain of salt. We don’t like salt.

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27
Feb
08

Holy Hussein

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John McCain is distancing himself from a right wing crazy that made disparaging remarks about Barack Obama at a McCain rally. The crazy in question kept referring to Obama by his middle name, Hussein.
27
Feb
08

Flaherty points smelly finger

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Jim Flaherty, the Canadian Finance Minister, is criticizing American Democratic candidates for suggesting they may consider pulling out of NAFTA. After smelling his finger, Obama and Clinton agree, the further the better.
27
Feb
08

Clash of the titans!

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Key primaries in Texas and Ohio are coming up and the two Democratic front runners are debating over campaign tactics. John McCain missed the whole thing because of his hearing loss caused by excessive aging.



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