Posts Tagged ‘Clinton



08
Mar
08

A Major Election Issue: tax returns

Barack’s camp has criticized Senator Clinton’s delay of releasing her tax returns until April 15. What a major issue for the country. If I release my tax returns can I become president? I don’t have any experience in health care, environmental or security policies though, is that ok?

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08
Mar
08

Hillary Clinton, embrace your inner monster

An adviser to the Obama campaign referred to Hillary Clinton as a monster. Now, usually I would say being a monster is not good. I also agree with the resignation of Samantha Power, the hot-headed red-head who made the comments. However, if I was running for office and my main competitors were referring to me as a monster, I am not sure that I would actually be all that offended. I would think that the other camp was feeling intimidated and inferior. Hillary, embrace your inner Monster!!!!

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05
Mar
08

Hillary stomps on Obama’s balls in Ohio and Texas

Hillary Clinton has made up some ground, winning Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island.  Poor Rhode Island, nobody ever talks about them, but they did select Clinton as their candidate.  Maybe Rhode Island needs to sexy themselves up to attract some attention.  On a similar note, maybe Barack could clinch the nomination by taking his shirt off!

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03
Mar
08

John McCain winks awkwardly at Hillary Clinton

In recent news, John McCain looks like he will win the Republican nomination, however, he is quite scared of Hillary Clinton. In fact, he was recently caught winking at her. In response, she kneed him in the balls.

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03
Mar
08

NAFTA rears its ugly head…

NAFTA has become an issue again, as documents given to Canadians are published by the Associated Press. The suggestions have been that Obama’s discussion of renegotiating NAFTA is political hot air and not to be taken seriously. As a result, Hillary Clinton soars in the polls in Ohio, just the day before the major primaries in that state and Texas. Perhaps Obama could gain ground by suggesting a negotiation of the constitution and the refund/exchange policies at Best Buy. Goddamn VCR!

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02
Mar
08

The TV News Show with the Greatest Impact on the Presidential Race

It seems that with all the biased coverage in the media, the new trusted source for political news is Saturday Night Live.

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02
Mar
08

Obama and McCain fashion and sex critique

As a woman, Hillary Clinton is getting the short end of the stick. Sexism is still the only allowed bigotry in our society. Misogynist news anchors can make sexist comments, but they don’t lose their jobs. Let’s face it, the sexist attitudes towards women in politics aren’t going to go away. Therefore, it’s a good idea to level the playing field by holding up male candidates to the same standards as women.

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Is it me or is John McCain gaining weight? The challenges of the primaries certainly have him stressed, as can be seen by his growing waistline and weathered complexion. Somebody should send him the contact info of Wayne Newton’s plastic surgeon. Some botox would do him good too. Has this man even heard of a hair salon? He needs a touch up coloring like a Hippo needs deodorant. And why does he use his wife as a campaign magnet? Well, it’s obvious that she is much younger and has much more sex appeal, but do you really think you can trust a man that let’s his spouse do the campaigning? C’mon, he is using her popularity to gain votes and it says nothing about his credentials except that he is married to someone that has a lot of mass appeal and respect. He’s a fake and not very sexy.

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Now on to Obama. Geez, this outfit needs to go faster than you can say “Call the fashion police!” Obama not only lacks a sense of style, but he’s so boring with his fashion choices. The campaigning is also taking a toll on him as he has no time to eat and is slowly becoming emaciated with all the stress. It’s time for him and Michelle to take a long vacation. In fact, I heard of a great Florida retreat that doubles as marriage counseling. They should look into it. Recent news suggests that debate organizers are going easy on him because of the fear that he is more of a pretty face than a politician. He simply cannot answer the questions that are posed, could this be due to insecurity? The public is just not convinced that this election is personal for him.

27
Feb
08

CNN makes false conclusions

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Here’s an excerpt from “Clinton at risk of losing latino vote” by Ruben Navarette at CNN: “A recent Gallup survey found Obama in a slight, but not statistically significant, lead over Clinton among Latinos. Obama-mania has gone multicultural. And it’s about time.”
The scientific fallacy behind this statement is so blatantly obvious to us here at Right Wing Crazies. You CANNOT draw conclusions from statistically insignificant findings. It’s rule numero uno for any scientist. Why is CNN exhibiting bias? Are you surprised? We think Ruben is a closet Obama “fan” and he should leave the factual reporting to those most qualified. Shame on you CNN!
27
Feb
08

Hillaria Clintone: El Presidenta?

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Apparently the new hot topic is that if Hillary Clinton loses the nomination to Barack Hussein Obama, it is because of the lack of latino votes! I say she crosses the border, not to the Taco Bell side but North, we’ll take her!
27
Feb
08

Holy Hussein

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John McCain is distancing himself from a right wing crazy that made disparaging remarks about Barack Obama at a McCain rally. The crazy in question kept referring to Obama by his middle name, Hussein.
27
Feb
08

Clash of the titans!

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Key primaries in Texas and Ohio are coming up and the two Democratic front runners are debating over campaign tactics. John McCain missed the whole thing because of his hearing loss caused by excessive aging.



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