South Carolina Pork Barrels and Sexcapades

Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina (shown below), had requested to use one quarter of S.C.’s federal stimulus money to pay down state debt.  This was rejected as the funds are intended for education and public works expenses.  Sanford, a staunch right-wing Republican, has been one of the most outspoken against the stimulus package.  Could this be due to his aspirations to lead the Republican party?  Maybe.  In all likelihood, he knew his requests would be rejected, his state would get the money and he would look like a maverick.  What’s sad is that he was willing to jeopardize much needed money for the people of S.C. to get ahead politically.  Poor bastards.  They’re already at the bottom of the totem pole economically, not too mention genetically. So sad.

Sarah Palin Sex Scandal

The Sarah Palin sex scandal story just won’t die.  Here’s a live admition of how she gets on her sexy times with almost everybody and anybody…

Hillary Clinton: Sexy Times in an Airplane!

Hillary Clinton sure knows how to rock the casbah!!! She’s been on a whirlwind of a trip that includes the Middle East and Europe.  I wonder if she eats the little nuts on the flights?  Likely, she has a private jet, right?  Maybe they serve her special nuts with special coatings that make them taste like scrumptralescence!!! In this economy, we thinks that she should fly coach.

Dick’s a dick!

In his meaningless and irrelevant interview with CNN, Dick Cheney says that Obama’s reversal of GWB’s policies means that Americans are in danger.  Has anybody weighed in about how not having a money hungry, racist and extremist government is going to make America safer and improve its foreign policy?

Perez Hilton and Richard Simmons to Host Gay Military L.A. Bash!

Ok, we lied.  There’s no party.  But Faux News has a story running about Obama repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Basically, before Clinton, all gay people were banned from the military.  Bill Clinton thought that he could make some progress by changing the laws such that gays could be in the military as long as they don’t reveal their sexuality.  Well, this has turned out to be less than advantageous for both the military and gays.  What’s alarming in the article is this notion that lifting the Clinton-era policies (and hence allowing openly gay people to serve) would make the military a big fag-fest.  This is such bull shit. Do the old douche bags that took part in the military poll actually think that gays will flock to the military like they do to a Cher concert? This seems sooooo unlikely.  Just another example of right wing crazies and a conservative agenda at Faux News!

The New Sexy Hot Abstraction Reaction Poll…

Here’s our new poll!  Have fun!

Dick Cheney talks Bush, guns and sexy times!

Dick Cheney will be giving his first interview this weekend since leaving the puppetier, er, I mean, VP’s office.  Seriously, does Dick really think anybody wants to hear what he has to say, let alone NOW? Sure he can trash talk both Bush and Obama now that he has nothing to lose but his integrity.  What we’d like to hear are about all the sexy times he had in the White House.  He should write a tell-all book about his sexcapades in the VP office.  Oh wait, he shoots off pellet guns because he has no schlong.  My bad.

Finally Stem Cells Come out of the Bush!!!!

Awesome.  Just awesome!  Obama has decreed that the NIH can start funding more stem cell research, critical science that was held back by GWB!  Even Nancy Reagan and Republican congress-people supported the reversal of policies.  If only we could reverse all of George Bush’s crazy-ness from over the years.  To celebrate his awesomeness, here’s an Obama nudie pic!

Obama girls get a big surprise!!! A pet pig instead of puppy :(

Ok. so the Obama-yardigans are not getting a pet pig instead of a puppy.  They aren’t get a pet just yet.  What they are getting is a new swing set.  Now, get your mind out of the gutter.  We are not speculating that the “Obama girl” of youtube fame is becoming a swinger.  Rather, the Obama kids are getting a play set to enjoy, within sight of the Oval office.  What’s interesting is all the negative comments on this story posted on CNN.  Right-wing crazies are out in full force!  Geez, they’re kids.

Finally a Great Answer from Sarah Palin!!!!!!!

A series of Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric have proved disastrous for the Republican vice presidential nominee.  However, in a recent interview she finally nailed one.  Here’s her answer:

Katie Couric: Governor Palin, there has been quite a bit of discussion about your perceived lack of foreign policy experience, and I want to give you your chance, if you could please respond to that criticism and give us specific skills that you think you have to bring to the White House to rebut that or mitigate that concern.

Sarah Palin: I personally believe that, U.S. Americans are unable to do so, because some… people out there in our nation that don’t have maps, and I believe that our education, like such, as in South Africa and Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should… our education over here in the U.S., should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future.., for our children.

John McCain asks Sarah Palin to Step Aside…

John McCain is considering removing Sarah Palin from her post as VP nominee.  Recent interviews with the press have not gone well and it’s time for her to exit.  In a move to appeal to women voters, the newest name being discussed within the party is Dianne Keller, the current mayor of the City of Wasilla, Alaska.  Among her long list of credentials, she is touted for being a member of the  Alaska Moose Federation and donates regularly to  the Blood Bank of Alaska.  You can find out more about this formidable candidate here.

John McCain up Bush’s Ass

According to a report by CNN, John McCain has sided with Bush 90% of the time.  The question is, if McCain is 90% up Bush’s ass, does that leave his toes wiggling or most of his feet?

Wright Defends his Right to Free Speech and Racism

Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama’s religious hero and consultant, has called the allegations made about him “unfair.”  What’s unfair is that he doesn’t have his own TV show like Judge Joe Brown!

Obama Increases Photo Ops with White Cousins

After hearing the latest polls that suggest that Obama has trouble recruiting the white vote, Barack is on a mission to be the People’s Candidate.  To this end, he is shown here posing with some of his white cousins from Illinois.

Obama plays up Black Granny

After the controversial remarks about his white grandmother, Barack Obama has been stepping up the photo ops with his Blacker Granny.

White, Catholics and especially White Catholics Hate Obama…

It seems that there is a demographics problem with Obama’s campaign. Typical white people and typical Catholics seem to be Clinton supporters, at least that is the conclusion based on the Pennsylvania primary held this week. I think it’s time for a big old speech again from Barack. This time, he should work in something about how Jesus would vote for him and he should denounce and reject his Black heritage. That might help.

It’s oh so tight in Indiana!

It’s a very close race for Obama and Clinton in Indiana.  Not Indiana Jones silly, Indiana the state.  Apparently Harrison Ford thinks so highly of the Democratic Party that he thinks it’s a religion.

Hillary Clinton, a gay icon?

The recording artists throwing their chops behind Hillary Clinton include Madonna, Barbra Streisand, and Elton John. Can you say tranny? Barack Obama has the likes of Will.I.Am and John Legend behind him, both which will likely be referred to as “typical black men.” To show they have cross appeal, Clinton has Timbaland and Obama has The Grateful Dead and Arcade Fire. Who does McCain have? Check it out below.

Obama confirms rumored affair with Sherri Shepherd

Barack Obama was on the view last week and Sherri Shepherd thought he looked like a  “chocolate drop.” He also said that it’s ok to be racist as long as you are retired.

Controversial skit at North Dakota State!

At North Dakota State University, a student group has put on skits involving allegedly racist content for diabetes research.  The skit involving the “Obama Girl” giving Barack a lap dance whilst two gay cowboys get it on in the background actually sounds kind of funny.