Heinz meets her match!

Teresa Heinz is of course married to Senator John Kerry, who famously lost the 2004 Presidential Election to George Bush. She was also married to Senator Henry John Heinz and inherited the Heinz fortune when he died in an airplane crash in 1991. Now, everybody knows that Heinz is famous for ketchup. Many people will only eat ketchup if it is from Heinz, creating a huge amount of brand loyalty. I used to be such a drone, however, I recently discovered President’s Choice Organic Ketchup. I have to say that this ketchup has an amazing taste that rivals Heinz, without the bright fluorescent red colour. You have to try it!

Sex in the White House

The recent battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination has fired up controversy on many levels. Voting is at an all time high and emotions, along with mud slinging, have been sinusoidal. What is becoming apparent, at least to some, is that perhaps sexism is one of the few allowable bigotries in society. Hillary Clinton has faced much more scrutiny than Obama during this entire process. This is has been linked to her being a woman. I say let’s drop all kinds of bigotry and for the run to the White House, let’s bring sexy back and make “Woman” the new “Black”!

Early Morning Crank Calls…

Here’s a very effective Hillary Clinton ad. Hey, at least if she gets in the White House phones won’t be unplugged so that GWB can get his geezer sleep.

The Sexy, Hot Conservative Poll

Poll: Who is the hottest conservative?

• Cindy McCain
• Ann Coulter
• Robert McAllister
• Rona Ambrose
• Mike Huckabee

Status:

Cindy McCain – Republican supporter and wife of John McCain

Ann Coulter – Republican supporter and “author”

Robert McAllister – Senator and Republican presidential nominee

Rona Ambose – Conservative Party of Canada, Member of Parliament

Mike Huckabee – Republican presidential nominee

Iggy could have been ours!!!!!!!!!!

Watching and blogging about the recent American Republican and Democratic primaries has made me realize that if the same process of leader selection was done in Canada, the political landscape would be quite different.  Stephane Dion would have never been the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada.  This has nothing to do with either his inability to do the job or his Quebec heritage.  It has to do with likability and popularity, plain and simple.  When he was selected, no one, except for those avidly active in politics, knew who he was.  Michael Ignatieff, on the other hand, was wildly popular, well known and respected.  Although as Canadians we often look down on American politics, this is certainly a superior situation where leaders are selected democratically and not by a small group of people that certainly don’t represent the average citizen.  Iggy could have been ours!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Baird is very Beary

Canadian Minister of the Environment, John Baird, thinks that a recent green bill proposed is the end all and be all of environmental sustainability. The undying leftys in parliament, known as the NDP, have tabled a motion to take down the government because it isn’t setting the environment as a priority. Of course, Stephane Dion and the Liberal Party don’t want an election because of their lack of charismatic leadership. However, Stephen Harper has maintained that John Baird will continue to escort the First Lady, Laureen Harper, to all public function. Harper isn’t acting like the usual right wing insecure jealous husband because Baird is a big, lovable Bear.

The Democrats and Karma Sutra…

It’s amazing how the recent Democratic leadership race has turned the candidates against each other.  Just last summer they seemed quite chummy.  Now, they are using right wing mud slinging within their own party.  I say Barack and Hillary get on the same page for unity’s sake.  One big oiled liberal machine is a lot tougher to beat than a fragmented party.  To ease this process, I suggest Hillary and Barack experiment with some very intimate karma sutra techniques.

Daily MacRice Photo!!!!!!!!

Don’t they look oh so sexy hot together!

Clinton doesn’t wear briefs in Canada

According to Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Hillary Clinton’s campaign did not brief the PMO on any aspect of her stance on NAFTA. NAFTA-gate has hurt Barack Obama’s chances of winning the White House. Allegations of double-talking and political posturing have plagued Obama ever since, probably aiding in his loss of both Texas and Ohio primaries. I think Clinton and Obama should come on up to Canada in their briefs and go for a cold dip in the chilling waters of Lake Superior. Surely that would be warmer their relationship as of late.

Stephen Harper: Families, Workers and Seniors MUST Suffer!

Suffering is the most popular stop on the subway train to heaven.  At least that’s what the Conservative Party of Canada would have you believe.  At a swanky lunchtime talky-poo at the Economic Club of Toronto, Stephen Harper, the Canadian Prime Minister, told listeners that Canadians falling on hard times during the current economic lull shouldn’t count on the government to bail them out.  Critics have been asking for tax relief for families, the working class and seniors.  Surprisingly, the minority Conservative government will have none of such debauchery.  He concluded his speech by saying “Let them eat cake!”

George Bush wants to try waterboarding this summer!

Waterboarding. A fun summer past time, great for the whole family? No. Absolutely not. Waterboarding involves strapping a person down and pouring water over his/her cloth-covered face to create the sensation of drowning. It has been traced back hundreds of years to the Spanish Inquisition and is condemned by nations around the world and human rights organizations as torture. A bill attempting to ban this torture has been vetoed by good ol’ GWB. In absolutely failed logic, GWB’s argument is that the use of waterboarding has prevented attacks. First off, waterboarding has been allowed thus far and there have been terrorist attacks. Second, if you have a prisoner to waterboard in the first place, then he/she is clearly already in custody and isn’t a threat. Maybe George really thought they were trying to clamp down on the fun at Darien Lake!!!

A Major Election Issue: tax returns

Barack’s camp has criticized Senator Clinton’s delay of releasing her tax returns until April 15. What a major issue for the country. If I release my tax returns can I become president? I don’t have any experience in health care, environmental or security policies though, is that ok?

Dancing in the Streets!

A Republican congressman from Iowa has stated that if Barack Obama becomes president, that terrorists would be dancing in the streets. He thinks that having a “Hussein” as president would be viewed as a terrorist victory. His office even re-enacted what would happen if Obama won in the following video:

Hillary Clinton, embrace your inner monster

An adviser to the Obama campaign referred to Hillary Clinton as a monster. Now, usually I would say being a monster is not good. I also agree with the resignation of Samantha Power, the hot-headed red-head who made the comments. However, if I was running for office and my main competitors were referring to me as a monster, I am not sure that I would actually be all that offended. I would think that the other camp was feeling intimidated and inferior. Hillary, embrace your inner Monster!!!!