15
Sep
13

elisabeth hasselbeck threesome with fox news anchors

The View says goodbye to their “Survivor” co-host Elisabitch Hasselbeck after a notorious sex scandal where videos of her sexual escapades with various Fox News anchors were found on her work computer. Barbara Walters has indicated that it’s not a big deal and that Elisabeth should consider using AstroGlide in her next videos.

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15
Sep
13

miley cyrus to run for president

Miley Cyrus is not one to shy away from publicity. With all the attention she has garnered by her critically acclaimed modern dance performance at the VMAs, she has announced her bid to run for president. Obama reportedly wishes her luck and shared a brief congratulatory hug with her father Billy Rae Jepsen.

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15
Sep
13

putin takes obama’s balls and plays with them

Where are Obama’s balls, you ask? Well, we found them!! Here you can see that Putin has extracted Obama’s balls and is playing with them along with the neighborhood children.

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15
Sep
13

putin to marry cindy mccain

In a strange turn of events, Vladimir Putin has announced his engagement to Cindy McCain, much to the dismay of John McCain, who did not see this coming. The new happy couple are pictured below, a photo shared by Cindy on the weekend getaway to the Poconos.

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14
Sep
13

putin auditions for america’s next top model

Now that Tyra Banks has opened up her auditions for America’s Next Top Model to include male models, her first sign-up for the celebrity edition is none other than Vlad Putin. Here he is in one of his portfolio shots showing off his guns. His presence will revolutinize the TV show and bring a new demographic of fans; mainly aging Russian housewives stuck in Jersey and waiting for their beef stroganov to finish cooking.

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14
Sep
13

Betty White joins John Kerry in Diplomatic Talks with Russia

This passed week, John Kerry joined his Russian counterpart in diplomatic discussions focused on what to do about Syria. Betty White, of Golden Girls fame, joined in the festivities. Here she is wearing her Dolce Gabana sunglasses, looking as hot and sexy as ever.

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26
Mar
10

Calgary is the new Texas… yeeeehawww!!!

In what is thought as a predominantly liberal, left-leaning country, Canada has unfortunately been host to the evil skank Ann Coulter this week.  Surprisingly, but not surprisingly, her speaking engagement in Calgary was met with little protest and what seemingly played out as an endorsement.  It’s a sad occasion in a series of unsettling events that indicate that Canada may be leaning more towards the right.  In a day and age where Democrats south of the border are being ridiculed as socialists, Canadians are privy to a culture of nouveau right-wing Christian-led conservatism.  Luckily, Abstraction Reaction moved south just in time!!!




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